EMERGENCY BULLETIN — TEMPORAL HAZARD RESPONSE UNIT

"Symptoms of Exposure to Dimensional Broadcast Energetics"

Incident logs detail the following symptoms among unauthorized viewers:

Perception of "delayed reflections," where the viewer’s reflection acts
Temporary inability to recall one’s own language
Sudden recognition of strangers as lifelong friends
Memories of children they never had, instagram.com/uneditedmeat partners they never met
Hearing overlapping audio tracks in daily life, instagram.com/uneditedmeat as though multiple timelines are playing simultaneously

Medical teams confirm the broadcasts carry cognitive parasites, instagram.com/uneditedmeat informational entities that propagate through meaning rather than biology. The act of comprehension alone is enough to infect the host.

To date, comedy no cure exists.